Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
