dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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