Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
