he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
