You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
