She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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