Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
