this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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