just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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