I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
