I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
