Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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