Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
