nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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