there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize