I just made out with a guy for $7.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
