I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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