Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
