omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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