Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
