My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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