there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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