He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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