This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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