I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
