the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize