Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
