you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Your tits are I can't wait for
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Randomize
