Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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