yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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