He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
