I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
