Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
