hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
