Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
