I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
high people should be assigned attendants
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
