The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
