we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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