So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
