Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
