jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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