Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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