Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They should really pass out barf bags in church
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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