gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
