Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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