on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
