Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
should my penis look like a turkey
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize