My sheets look like a crime scene.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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