Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
