Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
