girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
