Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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