I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
