I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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