yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
