i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
