ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
