It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
