you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
