I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
