When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
