I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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