I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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