if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
