that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize